HORNY
by Hagane
Summary: mitsui's the victim of a prank by 2 spirits who decide to douse him with erm, Mating Potion. and well, he gets uncontrollably lusty and erm, aggressive. he wants everyone. really. ^^;
1. the potion

Title: HORNY  
Author: Hagane ^^\/  
Rating: General. When have I crossed the line and written a lemon? *wide innocent eyes*  
Genre: Humor/Romance  
Pairing(s): MitRu, MitSen, MitHana, MitMiya, MitEVERYONE.

Disclaimer: Mitsui is so MINE. *sticks tongue out at Yelen*

Summary: I don't like summaries. They cut the whole story short. What's the point then, of reading when you already know what's going to happen? So yeah, no summary. Nyah nyah. XP

HORNY 

            *giggle* 

            Nyan glared at her sister. _Shut up you idiot! You're going to get us caught! _

            Kyan giggled again, earning herself a heated glare. _Gomen, I can't help it! This is so funny! _

            _Well, it would be a lot funnier if you'd just shut up! I swear Chi will find us out if you don't shut up! _Nyan chided her.

            _Demo—_began Kyan but a sudden, impatient wave of Nyan's hand shut her up.

            _Do you want to do this or not?! _

Kyan nodded her head vigorously.

            _Then SHUT UP!!! _

-o-

            _I'm sure I left it on the third shelf. I know I did. _Chi scratched his head as he stared at the overcrowded shelves. _Next to the green bottle. I always leave my potions there. _

He stared hard, scratched his head one more time, then sighed in resignation. _Oh well, I guess I must have been dreaming. I probably haven't even concocted the mixture yet. Best get down to making it then._ And whistling, the brilliant, but incredibly disorganized scientist set to work- making another batch of the ultimate **Mating Potion™**.

-o-

            The two of them sneaked out of the laboratory, as quietly as possible. Once out of earshot, they erupted into a fit of laughter.

            _Chi-san is such a scatterbrain! _Giggled Kyan.

            _Brilliant, but forgetful! _Agreed Nyan.

            They caught each other's eyes and paused. Before bursting into fresh peals of laughter. 

            _I don't know how Ki-sama can entrust him with these! _Exclaimed Nyan, gleefully holding out the tiny bottle that the old man had been hunting for.

            Kyan shook her head, still giggling. _Ne, Nyan, shall we try it out? _

_            What for? We already know his potions work. _Asked her sister.

            _Well, it works on spirits, but does it work on humans? _A mischievous gleam appeared in her eyes.

            _Good point. _Nyan pretended to ponder the thought a while. _Let's find out. _

-o-

            _There! _Kyan pointed.

            Nyan looked to see a tall, dark-haired boy sauntering down the street, whistling and acting as if he owned the world. She also noticed the many stares girls threw him as he sauntered by. He would be a good choice.

            _Can you do it? _She asked.

            Kyan nodded. _Leave it to me sister! _

-o-

            _Well that was easy. _Remarked Kyan.

            _Of course it was. All you had to do was fly up to him and pour the mixture all over him. _Scoffed Nyan.

            _Well, if it was so easy you should have done it yourself then. _Sulked her sister.

            _And risk getting caught? Look, I think we both know who's the better look-out here. At least I can cover your back. I can't say the same for you._

Kyan stuck her tongue out. 

            _Anyway, we had better go. Ki-sama might be looking for us._

Kyan shook her head. _But how will we know if it works?_

_            Oh, _grinned Nyan, _we'll know._

-o-

            Mitsui felt something trickle down his face and neck. "What the hell?" he muttered, wiping it off. He stared up at the sky. "Hell, at least its just water."

-o-

            "Weird." He commented as he made his way to school the next day. "There's this weird tingling feeling all over my body. Must be the heat."

-o-

tusuzuku~~

lol. that's it for now, I'm afraid. Gotta rush off to school. I'll continue this when I get back. ^^\/ 


	2. the aftermath

Title: HORNY  
Author: Hagane ^^\/  
Rating: General. When have I crossed the line and written a lemon? *wide innocent eyes*  
Genre: Humor/Romance  
Pairing(s): MitRu, MitSen, MitHana, MitMiya, MitEVERYONE.

Disclaimer: blah. Whatever you say. Mitsui's mine, and he says so. Hah. 

Summary: Remember what I said before? About summaries? Well, I still don't like them any better than I did previously. 

HORNY 

            *ring ring* 

            Mitsui jumped aside as a madly swerving bicycle sped past- with a very familiar boy just barely hanging on to the handles. 

            "Shit Rukawa! You trying to kill me or something?!" he yelled after the offending boy. 

            The boy didn't seem to acknowledge him and he carried on in his crazy joy-riding on his infamous pink bike. Before swerving madly into several trash bins that lined the road.

            Mitsui watched in wide-eyed fascination as the boy went flying through the air- - - and landed, rather unceremoniously, in a messy pile of garbage bags. Grinning, Mitsui ran up to the boy.

            "You okay?" he grinned, holding out a hand.

            Rukawa, dazed, stared up at him. 

            "Maybe not." His grin didn't leave. "So much for ringing the bell." He jerked his head at the broken bike lying among the bins. "You know, it only works with living things. Not objects. Trash cans can't jump out of the way for you. Thought you'd know that."

            Rukawa glared. After clearing his head, he glared harder.

            "Come on," Mitsui waved his proffered hand, "we're going to be late."

            Rukawa glared at the hand, looked at his sempai, stood up, strode to his deformed bike, hopped on, and cycled off. Leaving Mitsui to stare at the trash that now littered the street.

            "Correction. **I'm **going to be late."

-o-

            // thud//

            "Has anybody seen Mitsui-sempai today? He's really late for practice!" Ayako asked around.

            //thud//

            "I saw him this morning," Kogure replied. 

            //thud//

            "Well, why isn't he here then?" 

            //thud//

            "NYAHA!!!! Maybe Mitchy got into trouble again!!!!" laughed the tensai.

            //thud//

            "I wouldn't be surprised," commented Miyagi dryly.

            //WHOOSH//

            The ball soared into the net for the _n_th time. Rukawa turned to the ongoing conversation. 

            "What do you think Mitchy did this time?"

            "I don't know, but it should be something really dumb," snickered Miyagi. 

            "D'aho." Rukawa finally contributed.

-o-

            Mitsui sighed. "Why must it always be me?" he groaned as he sat in the headmaster's office. "Why?" he threw his hands up dramatically.

            An expression of amusement crossed the old man's face. "Mitsui-kun, you get yourself in trouble. There's no one else to blame."

            "But I swear it wasn't my fault this time! It was Rukawa's! I stopped to help him and he just dashed off in his bike and I had to clean up all that garbage!"

            "Well, at least you did something good of your own accord," noted the sensei.

            "Are you kidding?" blurted Mitsui, "I was forced to do it! The old woman wouldn't let me go if I didn't clear up the stupid mess!"

            "Well, I thought it was too good to be true," muttered sensei. 

            "So, can you let me off this time? I'm already late for practice. Hell, Akagi's going to blow his top."

            "And I'm not?" sensei raised an eyebrow.

            "Well, you're different. For one thing, you're human while he's not."

            Sensei grunted. "What's that?"

            "Nothing. Just let me off. It's not my fault I was late. And that I came stinking of garbage. I wouldn't do it willingly you know? It ruins my image and everything. It's a turn-off for the chicks."

            Another raised eyebrow.

            "Hey, I take pride in my appearance and the impressions I make."

            "Oh?"

            "Yeah! Impressions matter a lot! Haven't you heard of that famous phrase, sensei? _First impressions count._"

            "So, does mine?"

            "Huh?"

            "You didn't leave a very good impression the first time I met you."

            "Well……" pause, "that was different. **I'm **different now."

            "Sure."

            "I'm serious!" Mitsui insisted, leaning forward eagerly. "Let me off this time, sensei… just this once….."

-o-

            "K'so." Mitsui cursed gloomily. "He's such a prick."

            Despite his pleas, he was sent to detention class.

            "Another 15 minutes before I can get out of here," he mumbled, staring glumly at the clock. "Why does shit always happen to me?"

            He recounted all the events that had happened to him in the last 24 hours.

            "First I cut myself while shaving." He recalled aloud, "then I dropped my toothbrush in the stinking toilet. And discover that I've run out of cologne AND shampoo. Then I find my toast burned while I was trying to get the stupid kettle to work. So I had burnt toast and cold coffee for breakfast. Then, when I thought things couldn't get any worse, someone throws water over me. And in school, I fell asleep in class. Detention. Late for practice- punishment." He recounted gloomily.

            "When I got home, I find that someone's stolen my new sneakers. And when I try to cook dinner, the microwave doesn't work. Nothing's worth watching on a weeknight and I hate the radio. So what did I do? I did my homework. I fall asleep just as dawn breaks, rush out of the house without a bite of anything, almost get knocked down by a stupid bike and an even stupider guy, get hassled by an old maid, clear up stinking garbage, arrive late and smelly and pissed."

            "And was sent to detention again."

            He sighed. "Oh and I foresee punishment again."

            He rubbed his temples then looked at the only other occupant in the room- a punk who was lost in noddy land. 

            "And the worst thing is, I still feel funny all over."

            The punk stirred.

            "Must be the heat," Mitsui mused, getting up to move closer to the guy.

-o-

            "Ohayo."

            "Mitsui-sempai!"

            "Mitchy!"

            "Mitsui!"

            "WHY ARE YOU LATE…… AGAIN?!" came that threatening, authoritative voice of Akagi.

            "Long story. But if you want, I can tell you," Mitsui flashed him a cheeky smile.

            "Did you get into trouble again Mitchy?" asked Sakuragi hopefully.

            "BAKA! What makes you think I did?" he snapped.

            "If that's what always happens then you can't blame people for making assumptions," muttered Akagi.

            Strangely enough, Mitsui didn't seem fazed by the remark. Instead, a strange grin spread over his features. 

            "You want to know what happened?" he asked Sakuragi.

            The redhead nodded.

            "Come with me to the locker room and I'll tell you." His eyes twinkled in mischief.

            Sakuragi followed him eagerly, puppy-dog style.

            Rukawa sighed. "D'aho."

-o-

            Somewhere, in the streets of Kanagawa, a particular punk was trying to find the best way of committing suicide. 

            "Hey kid! Stop that!" an officer restrained the boy as he prepared to cross the busy road. "What're you trying to do? Kill yourself?"

            The boy looked at him, eyes wide with terror and he recoiled in fear.

            The officer released his hold as the boy shrank from him. "You shouldn't throw your life away so easily, son. Nothing could be so bad to make you want to give up your life."

            The punk kid burst into tears and ran away. _'That's easy for you to say! YOU didn't get molested by Mitsui Hisashi!' _

-o-

**tsuzuku~~ **

a/n: *gulp* mitsui molests?!!! Oh my. ^^;;;; 


End file.
